pjfb.org and DigitalCitizens.online

 

Have two new sites that I am impressed with both have the same themes.

http://pjfb.org yes a four letter domain spelling out my initials how cool is that? And to compliment youngercitizens.com, maturecitizens.com, and oldercitizens.com we now have http://DigitalCitizens.online my first dot online site.

What fun it all is.

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About Dying

About Dying

 
I love telling of my adventures….

Little death

I’ve come close to death three times. Once when I caught hepatitis from a dirty needle. Second when I was bitten by a rabid dog in India and third when I contracted lung cancer.

Well there was a time when I was eight and on the verge of meningitis. I awoke in the morning and started coughing up blood, lots of it. The doctor was called and I can remember him examining me and then calling my mother over to the window. I can see them now, the doctor talking in hushed tones and shaking his head. Oh dear I’m going to die I thought to myself. They came over to me my mother was ashen. The doctor looked at me and noticed blood on my pillow and asked about it. Oh I had a heavy nosebleed in the night. Sigh of relief was palpable. It turned out I had had a massive nose bleed and swallowed all the blood! So I don’t count that as a near death experiece.

The first time I nearly died was when I was 22 I shared a needle (injecting for the last time – ever) with a friend and eight of us caught hepatitis and had to be hospitalised. I was not going to Neasden Isolation Hospital in London so I dragged myself to my friend’s house In Clydach Vale, Tony Pandy, Rhondda Valley, South Wales. I was very ill. I was slowly dying. I don’t know how I did it but I made it to a local GP and he sent me home with some pills. They didn’t work and I wasn’t getting better. I went back and he saw the true state of me. He admitted me that day to a wonderful hospital high up in the valleys. I was there for three weeks and was treated like a king. I recovered.

The second time was when I was bitten by a rabid dog. About twenty of us were attending a meditation course in Dalhousie, Himachal Pradesh, India. It was quite isolated. It was 1976 i think. It was an old colonial hill station and we had rented a lovely house on a hill top. We had a pet dog that started acting strangely and had already bitten six of us, breaking skin. When I saw he had chewed his metal bowl to pieces, well something was seriously wrong. I was in charge of him. Two idiots decided the poor chained up dog needed a walk OMG anyway when I heard I ran to them and the dog was going mad on his chain. I rescued them and in doing so I was bitten.

Six of us were bitten and if he was truly rabid we needed to know. So took him to a local doctor who said yes he was rabid and had to be put down, our cherished pet. So we didn’t accept it, the doctor was a bit daft, so we needed a second opinion. The only hospital was at a not too far away university hospital. We all piled into a taxi for the three hour journey and tied the dog wrapped in blankets to the roof rack. We headed down the mountain. There was a landslide earlier and the road was blocked so we had to return home. In the two days that followed we read up on rabies. It was fatal and you shook yourself to death. It was one of the worst ways to die. We had no choice we had to find out if the dog was rabid so we set off again and told the taxi driver he had to get us through. The landslide had been partially levelled and we managed to bump across. We made it to the university hospital, the dog died on the way.

At the autopsy they confirmed he was rabid. We went to a restaurant and we discussed what we should do. We were very scared. We talked about the anti-rabies injections 14 daily through the stomach wall. There were known side effects, one of them was permanent blindness. We were into day six of the first bite and the minimum incubation period for rabies was ten days. We decided we would have the injections. We returned home and went to the doctors. Yes he could inject us but he only had serum for a few days. He didn’t have enough. We needed more and the nearest place was Shimla a 12 hour train trip away. Armed with a letter from the doctor (he would phone them too) I and a friend headed off.

The journey was relatively uneventful except we had to keep the small crate of serum cold. In the hot parts of our journey we bought ice to cool it.

We were going to have the injections as a group so no one had started, it was now day 9 of the first bite. From what I remember one was over ten but we didn’t talk about that. The injections were horrible. About an inch of fluid straight into the stomach wall. They left lumps of fluid that lasted days. So every day we all trooped down the mountain, got our shots and trooped back. Not fun and this would last for two weeks. This was 1976 in a remote part of India.

Well we all survived OK except me. On the 12th injection I collapsed and they took me up the mountain on a donkey. They called the doctor and he came up to the house to give me my 13th injection. You had to do the course. That night I nearly died. I developed a fever and my temperature went up to 107 and my friends were coming in to say goodbye to me. I had two angels looking after me Kitty Subho an English Thai monk and a wonderful lady who we thought had recently become enlightened. I remember the delirium well. It was a bit out of body, very spacey and voices shouted from a distance. I was going to die but I had no fear just an acceptance.

In the wee hours of the morning the fever broke and I woke up yellow. I had hepatitis again. Think my liver just couldn’t handle the serum. I was ill for about three weeks but what a beautiful spot to be ill in.

Four years ago during a routine hospital check-up the doctor told me they had found a little spot on my lung. After tests it was found to be cancerous. I researched lung cancer and my prognosis was not good. I prepared to die. It wasn’t so bad, I had led a very full life. I achieved an ethereal state of acceptance and said goodbye to the world. This state stayed with me. It became semi-permanent and was a bit difficult to get out of.

After further tests, going up to St James in Dublin they decided they would operate immediately. The consultant surgeon would contact me the next week. It ended up three months later and all this time the cancer was growing. But I stayed calm and did what had to be done. If the operation was successful I would still not get the all clear they were going to take out my left lung. So be it. I was admitted to St James and had the operation two days later. I can remember the prep room and getting an injection then waking up don’t know when in the post op ward. There was good news they only had to take out a lobe. I have a scar running down most of my back where they went in. My mood, that of acceptance, continued.

My oncologist in Tullamore said the cancer may have spread to my lymph and I needed chemo. So I wasn’t clear. Four months later they decide that that was it. Chemo was not fun. I was in remission. Got another year to go to be out of the woods. After 5 years you are considered cured.

Dying holds no fear for me. The mental state that of having done with the world, persisted for a year afterwards. I found it difficult to “come back” . I’m back now but have grown from my experiences. In this day and age longevity is not uncommon and I might look for another twenty years. Well we will see. Whatever the future holds for me I feel I am prepared for it.

I have a WordPress blog so I am immortal. Below is one of my favourite tunes: Gov’t Mule “ Soulshine. I think I let my soul shine and lived better for it.

Please comment and would love to hear your stories  I am sure you have them. A free Cream Tea voucher for the best comment.

Why not join the millions of others who blog, carve out your own niche on the Internet! You will have seen http:// before it stands for HyperTextTransfer Protocol, which tells the Internet you are going somewhere. So go to http://OlderCitizens.org and create a blog of your own.

Trolling

From The Guardian we must do something about this. If anyone is a victim of online abuse please contact me. The Article is below the form.

Philip Finlay Bryan B.Sc (hons) MA C.Q.S.W. FRSA

Online trolling against women is linked to domestic violence and abuse, experts have warned, and should not be dismissed as “obnoxious but harmless” behaviour.

Speaking before a conference on tackling online abuse, which will be attended by high-profile victims including the MP Stella Creasy and feminist writer and campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez, Polly Neate, chief executive of Women’s Aid, said the links between domestic violence and online abuse were too often ignored.

“It is critical that we make the link between this vicious online harassment and cyberbullying and real-life violence against women,” she said. “We need to understand that this is part of a domestic violence spectrum and we have to challenge this type of misogyny because it is the backdrop that allows that violence to take place.”

The “decimation” of domestic violence services was also leaving providers struggling to provide basic support to victims, and unable to tackle complex problems such as online abuse, she added.

Women’s Aid supports 350 services throughout the country. Its survey of 307 domestic violence survivors showed 48% had been harassed or abused online by their ex-partner once they had left the relationship and 38% reported online stalking. A further 45% were abused online during their relationship.

Three-quarters of women were concerned that police did not know how best to respond to online abuse or harassment, while 12% had reported abuse to the police and said they had not been helped.

The added pressure from online abuse on services to keep women safe comes during a difficult period for domestic violence charities, Neate warned. “We are seeing direct services decimated at a time when we need to invest in enabling them to respond to a new era. Greater access online is putting women at increasing risk of being tracked down by violent former partners – we live our lives online now and the structures in place to keep women safe in these spaces just haven’t caught up,” she said.

“Services are struggling to provide even basic care – how are they meant to cope with this new challenge? Services are being pared down to the bone and in danger of ceasing to exist at all.”

Criado-Perez, who will speak at the conference, said she felt a responsibility to push for change following the abuse she suffered after successfully campaigning to reinstate a woman on the back of an English banknote. “So many women got in touch to say they had been told not to ‘provoke’ attackers and thanked me for taking a stand,” she said. “You are told: ‘Don’t feed the trolls’ – but that gives no consideration to the victim. It’s about policing the reaction of the victim … telling women to shut up and that there is nothing they can do about it.”

She added that online trolling was the “vocalisation of a culture where domestic violence is still hushed up and not spoken about, a culture where two women can die a week at the hands of an abusive partner or ex-partner and it’s not even shocking”. Criado-Perez added that there was a lack of political will to tackle the situation. “It’s not just about addressing social media, it’s about tackling a deep-seated cultural problem, which takes time and financial investment – and this government is just not interested in that,” she said.

Creasy, who is also speaking at the conference on Tuesday, said the protocol for dealing with online threats and abuse needed a total overhaul. “If I received a bomb threat through the post, there is a protocol for dealing with that, but if I receive it online there is nothing in place,” she said. “We have to challenge this attitude that women just have to learn how to deal with these online threats, that they should be ignored.”

The MP for Walthamstow, who received repeated rape threats on Twitter and has called for the site to implement an online “panic button”, said the trolling had to be recognised as abuse. “Of course it’s distressing to receive these threats. I was told my attacker would fuck my dead corpse – it’s grim. If people want to create worry and fear then that is worrying. I want the police and other services to be able to understand the impact of these messages. I don’t want them to tell me how to learn to cope – I want to hear they are doing something about it,” she said.

She called for more training for police and more action from tech companies on threats. “Just because tackling this is difficult doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be pushing back. We have to say that this is not OK.

Gems

I come across gems in second life. I think it is the blues community, nice thinking.My fav blogger is Serendipity Haven (serenhaven.wordpress.com)who writes little stories that are so informative and entertaining. Highly recommended. AND not just for second life users either. I have blogged about her before. Read her latest offering, its very informative.

camera2_001

Take my partner, she has an awesome job that keeps her very busy but she spends much of her spare time with me. In her “spare” time she is a poet and has her own site. JessikaJenvieve.com fabulous poetry. Heres one she wrote for me:

It is Best

You wanted a love song
I don’t have the words
Cordelia – like, I have nothing to say
but it is inside,
deep
somewhere
I just can’t put my finger on.

You want forever and I want you to tell me
the pain in my head won’t kill me.
I want you to make my tea and a cheese sandwich.
I don’t want words, I want silence.
There’s a tangle of lyrics out there
waiting for me to catch my foot in them.
Pick the wrong one and you will fire up again.

Say nothing, it is safe.
It is best.

For PFB

“I’m a mature socialite cougar 60 k living in millionaires paradise” she says on skype……Love her sense of humour. We get on so well and are partners in second life, the online community. We spend a lot of time chatting to a background of the blues. Here you can see us dancing. At the top right are private messages bottom left are local messages.

While hosting (a host manages the dj session greeting people and providing help like joining the group) I met a person who was fun to chat to, who I hadn’t met before. She too has a blog and this is what I found:

We seem to think that big events and weighty, important conversations make the bulk of a relationship. Yet .. it’s chatting of little nothings .. how spring air moves and caresses across the face .. picking dandelions and sending them off to seed other places .. or sharing two blades of grass with a friend and trying to make a blade-of-grass kazoo together.

Lobbing nonesense words and silly verses between us .. twirling and feinting at nothing .. nothing moments are what I miss.

If you are the very best of friends with me, I will fill you with letters of little nothings.

Her site which she hasn’t updated in a while is http://vixenquandry.wordpress.com/

One of the things people love to do is take photos in second life it is very photogenic. So here is a gallery a person I met in a European blues club. Name of Schlock who has a wonderful talking parrot called Clyde with, i would say, artificial intelligence!!!!

Heres the gallery, sorry missed Clyde but i sent Schlock an email coz he should have a blog!!

Then another person with a site http://www.deadmonkeysociety.org/writtenword/index.html the front page looks like this:

deadmonkeys

All this is just a taste of the variety of people that you meet in second life. It is a community of intelligent diverse people. Possibly it is the blues community as this is all i have experience of. I am still exploring and have lots to learn. I will have been in second life for a year. Yes I am addicted.

Its not a problem

hotstuffHere is a picture of my Storm Constantine  (aka Jessika) we have known each other for six months and we decided to partner. This means we have made a commitment to share and cherish each other. It may be likened to a marriage, the “ceremony” was an email and now we appear in each others profile. partner
There is a wonderful thing that happens in second life. You become one with your avatar and truly your avatar becomes an extension of yourself. when you join with another avatar like in a dance something magical happens. You begin to feel with your avatar. Holding your partner becomes as though you are holding a real person and in some ways you are. It feels real. You can get incredibly close to someone. It starts in chat. As in anywhere / place chatting to someone brings you close to that person. We have chat in secondlife. However how do you explain a kiss producing a physical response in real life? Second Life is awesome. I can only suggest you try it for yourself. If you need a decent avatar let Avatar Creations know and we will make you beautiful.

Community

The views expressed here are my own and are not representative of Junkyard Blues Club main site here

Strong relationships are formed in second life, the blues clubs are a sub culture. Music is a powerful aphrodisiac and people fall in love. This sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. Some people cheat and do it with malice aforethought. Just as in “real life” there is cruelty. The following was posted in a friends profile:

As I was sitting in my cozy little shack, looking out over the water, I realized I needed to say something important. Those who know me understand the last few months have been a trial. Having both old and new friends shield me from the worst of the drama with humor and warmth has been awe inspiring. Bonding with other survivors, those who’ve also felt the pain of deceit and betrayal, some who I’m ashamed to say I’ve inadvertently helped to hurt the same way I was hurt, have still held out their hand in friendship and forgiveness. It’s a silver lining I didn’t expect. (13 people are mentioned) to name just a few, were the rocks I clung to, who sheltered me, for all this time. I don’t know how to repay your love and kindness other than to say I’m doing fine now. Your efforts have not been in vain. Thankyou so much for giving me the room and stability to heal.

As you can see those that have been wronged can and do get support because we are a caring community. Up until last week I was out of sorts and a friend asked me if I was ok, another thought I had a black cloud over my head (I did actually) and were concerned. There was no noticeable overt behaviour however people notice. I think the blues helps you to care. The blues is a powerful expression of life’s vagaries, its joys and heartbreaks. And brings solidarity through shared experience.

Sometimes its absolutely spiffing. Proud of our community.

Are you naked or are you wearing mesh?

buddhamedi

It came as a shock to me when I discovered what I was seeing on screen was not what others were seeing. I just don’t mean mesh. Not everyone is running at 1920 x 1080 most are on a laptop it seems. Then in the viewer you have settings from low through mid and high up to ultra with shadows. On top of this we have draw distance which will determine the background. In my circle these days nearly all can see mesh but this was not the case three months ago. It struck me that one of the reasons I made videos (311 on YouTube)  was because I wanted everyone to see what I was seeing in Glorious Wide Screen Technicolor® . Before we look at individual implications let us note something. Soul Mods. Given the vast area of accoutrements and textures available in second life one would be hard pressed to find lino. When I first visited Soul Mods and saw wine bottles on the dance floor I thought they were temporary. I also noticed less than half the available space was being used. It was cramped. BUT mes amies in the real world is not your favourite club a bit down at heels? a bit cramped BUT where you feel at home? If Soul Mods had a makeover that burn in the bar stool that you have picked at when you are feeling a bit down would be gone. BUT its not just familiarity it is Atmosphere. Buy that in Market Place. Capture that on video. Well maybe.

So : What is onscreen is not real, it is highly dependent on your equipment. Environment whether pleasing or not is mitigated by an intangible atmosphere. How then do I find you “pleasing” or them “agreeable”. So far I have been approached by women with the favourite pick up line “I love your profile” or “What an interesting profile” and I admit to doing it myself. However there have been numerous instances where after an hour or even several I have remarked “I must look at your profile”. The killer ap is Social Interaction. It has to be.

“yes darling, undo the hooks at the back. Now feel my soft silk panties around my suspender belt…….” so says the 50 something fat blowsy housewife, in curlers, dressed in housecoat and slippers, fag hanging out of her mouth, frying chips,  giving phone sex.

Reality is what I imagine it to be. On a physical level “Look at that Jade necklace” I am colour blind with shades of green.  If I am in a bad mood a smile is seen as a grimace, a good mood the child that drops ice cream on my trousers “a scallywag” . In second life as in real life we have two personae. One public one private. Then we have Seren my nemesis bete noir and mentor. her public face in second life does not equate with her public face in real life. So I’m fucked. Or am I? Put Madame Haven down in somewhere like a real Soul Mods with her mates and she would act EXACTLY the same.

Behaviour is dependent on the environment which is ultimately dependent on social interaction. AND how I perceive it. I think the perception thingy goes a bit further in second life. You may be a half naked blob but above your head it says “Dude”.

Call me, lets have phone sex (cough cough)

Dragons In The Attic

[blip.tv ?posts_id=2820319&dest=50755]

New Company Launch : Look What I Found In The Attic .com . Like eBay . You find your “Treasure” , Take pictures, Email or SMS to us with a price and we add them to our 3d Graphics gallery. . Buyers click on them and are taken to our on-line shop which takes all major credit cards. The seller gets a copy of the receipt and dispatches the item. We take a handling charge. Basic package through to WOW package where you get http://LookWhatIFoundInTheAttic.com/ what ever. We found Dragons..